My best friend for three years is a girl. And…I am girl. I’m also bisexual. We’ve always been really close, closer than most best friends. We talk about everything and love each other a lot. We’ve made this public, we hang all over each other all the time, and random people on the street walking by think "Oh, look, a lesbian couple." But we’re NOT. Micah (her name) has told me before that she’s straight, but she acts like…maybe she’s not. She dresses like a dyke, acts like a guy, you know. That sort of stuff. People think she is one, usually, and she has to set them straight (no pun intended).
Well, I’ve come to the conclusion about a year ago that I like Micah. I haven’t told her because I don’t know she likes me, and I’m not about to let something like this ruin a three year friendship. But the thing is, I can’t be sure of her feelings. I’ve pretty much given up on her ever liking me and treat her like I would any normal best friend. I don’t look for signs, or do anything suggestive that I wouldn’t do with a normal best friend. It’s just…normal. Well, I just got back from a four day trip with her and some other friends, and she was…a bit…friskier than usual.
We’ve gotten way past that random grabbing the breast thing, but, hell, I do that with all my best friends. All harmless. But something happened last night. We were laying in our makeshift sheet-and-sleeping-bag bed on the floor around midnight (which is early, for us) and she slid up under my shirt to sort of…cup my breast on top of my sports bra. She touched it and said (for the fortieth time in those four days to me and my friends), "I don’t see how you guys sleep in bras. It’s so uncomfortable." I always take my bra off before I go to sleep, and I’ve told her that. So, to this, I responded, "Would you like me to take it off?" a little irritably. She said, "Sure…but I don’t care what you do." So I took my bra off under my shirt and laid back down. She almost immediately snaked back up under my shirt and grasped my bare breast, a first for her. She’s always stopped at the bra thing. At first I was really uncomfortable and sort of tried to back away from her hand, which didn’t work because she was right behind me, so I sort of whined. She asked, "What?" and didn’t budge, and I don’t really care so I adjusted myself.
Now, another friend was laying near us, playing on the computer, looking stuff up and reading stuff. We moved around and talked a bunch and changed positions. Almost every position would have made anyone else uncomfortable, but I almost don’t think about that stuff anymore. One thing I did notice was that my shirt was being infiltrated a lot, though. Then something deeply romantic happened.
Micah was sort of straddling me, looking over at the computer, when I moved my arms to lay on either side of my head. She looked down in the dark room and saw this from the light from the computer and pinned my arms to the floor. I said, "What are you doing?" and she responded with, "Something." I sort of rolled my eyes when she began to talk. "See, there’s something off. Look, if I leaned down right now, I’d kiss you on the nose." None of this is really new, so I just sort of responded nonchalantly. "That’s because you’re positioned wrong. You’re too far up. If I wriggled down like this, then…" I’d wiggled so that we were fixed and she leaned down and finished my sentence. "I’d kiss you on the lips." Now, I’ve known this girl for a good four years and I’ve been her best friend for three, so I can tell when her voice changes. As she leaned down and turned her head, I could feel her breath on my lips as she said that, and her voice was softer than usual. Even the girl next to us noticed and coughed, "AHEM," so that we would stop making her "uncomfortable." My heart was whirring because of how…unusually romantic the situation was. Usually our weird positions are done in a joking manner, and this…was not.
Well, obviously, that moment passed and the time came for sleep. So I turned over and Micah came up behind me, so basically spooning. I lifted my head and laid down on her arm and, of course, here came her hand. She continued to talk to our other friend as I tried to go to sleep. So then, as she laid her hands on my breasts, I started to drift and didn’t really notice when I felt the pressure on my nipple. I guess she thought I was asleep, because she was sort of…playing with it gently, which I kept her from doing when I was "awake." But here I was, almost asleep and not really caring, so I just let her. And she did it for a really long time and I just don’t see how she couldn’t like me back, now. She doesn’t do this with other friends, but could it be because they won’t let her like I will?
Another thing, we were talking about a friend of ours (who is bisexual). Micah said, "If I asked Jenny out, I think she’d say yes." And I nodded and she kept talk
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